coaching

It’ll be all right on the night - or will it?

The River Alde which runs by Snape Maltings

The River Alde which runs by Snape Maltings

I had the great pleasure of singing at Snape Maltings earlier this month. After 7 years’ membership of Trianon Music Group choir I was in the fortunate position of performing something I had already done - so I could relax as one of the pieces was already ‘in the bag’!

Realisation had came quickly at the first rehearsal when I found I had very little recollection of the piece. Yes, it was 7 years ago and as it turned out I had sung a different part then but surely it wouldn’t be that tricky to pick it up again? Then came the angelic chorus bit and I knew I was doomed. This was not in the part I’d performed before - in fact on that occasion we had the beautiful, pure voices of a girls’ choir who sang these small sections beautifully. Now it was up to me and few others whose voices are a little more mature ....

At this point some of you may be recalling other, maybe non-musical, experiences where you have felt a similar level of dismay at being asked to do something you don’t feel quite up to. And perhaps you have a number of thought processes and choices:

1 Let’s just forget about it - I’m sure it will be Ok when the time comes
2 Maybe there’s some skilling up I need to do
3 I know - the others are probably better at it than I am, so it will be fine
4 Let’s see if I can try and understand the aspect of it I’m really concerned about and work on that
5 All of the above

Rehearsals came and went and the piece developed well. Memories of singing this requiem at the Chapel of the Royal Hospital School in Holbrook came back to me and I started to get into the piece. Apart from a few sticky bits, of course, but I’d soon pick them up. Option 1 was in full swing.

Option no 3 was rapidly destroyed in the following week’s rehearsal. “First sopranos - you’re flat!!”, barked the conductor when we were wafting beautifully through the high notes. No, surely not - nowhere to hide so now! Horror of horrors and now I had to take responsibility along with the others to make sure we got it right.

I’d realised a few months back that I needed some vocal coaching. My singing voice is OK - some people tell me it’s very nice (thank you) but at the end of a period of singing it was developing a roughness to it, which needed attention. So I talked about high notes with my singing tutor and in the run-up to the concert she focussed on exercises to help with this. Option 2 progressing - skilling up to ensure I could hit the notes was therefore under way.

The interesting learning point is that once I took action on one aspect of my shortcomings, I began to look more clinically at the other aspects which were causing me concern - how do I fit the latin text into the music smoothly? It’s one thing to see it on the page and quite another to have it pour accurately out of your mouth! Which sections of the music were the problem - in many cases it was timing. In this work there is a changing rhythm (known in the trade as the time signature - 3/4 to 4/4 to 7/8 for those of you who know about these things) so my strategy here was to mark up the bars where this was causing me problems to that I knew when to come in and what speed we were going at. It’s common practice but I’m not particularly diligent about doing it. Option 4 - focus on the problem areas - ticked. All good.

Then we had the rehearsal with the orchestra.

Just by way of explanation, choirs practise with a rehearsal accompanist who plays some of the orchestral part on the piano - even if you could find a big enough place to meet, it would be expensive and messy if we all learned everything together from scratch, so separating choir and orchestral rehearsals is a practical way of going about it. So the choir doesn’t hear the full orchestral part and the orchestra doesn’t hear the choir sing until that first, magical meeting.

At this stage it became clear that the magic wasn’t entirely present. Any remaining clinging on to option 1 - just to remind you that’s the one which says it will be all right on the night - evaporated! Most of the programme was good - however Durufle’s requiem is a moving, flowing piece with changing rhythms, different speeds with carefully timed entries and it was clear to most of us that some more work needed doing. Back to work on option 4 - focus on the troublesome bits.

It was a lovely, sunny morning for the Saturday pre-concert rehearsal at Snape Maltings.  Arriving feeling not particularly bright but spectacularly early, 3 of us sat in the sun overlooking the river with our coffees. Then Martyn said : « So which are the bits you’re particularly worried about then, Izzy? ».

Sitting in the sunshine we pored over the music, checked over the bars I’d marked up and which were still tripping me up, sang through the words separately and together and noted the “entry points”. Even in singing it’s recognised that (occasionally!) you may get lost and need to be able to pick up where you are and join in again, so you need to identify the points at which you can do this. Some people call them “muster points”. Last minute work on option 2 - work on the difficult bits.

The concert that evening was wonderful and well attended. In the space at Snape Maltings the sound is truly magnificent and it’s a great joy to perform there. And as the final In Paradisum words (the dreaded high bits) came through well and wafted up in to the rafters of the old Maltings as we sang:

"May the angels lead you into paradise; may the martyrs receive you at your arrival and lead you to the holy city Jerusalem. May choirs of angels receive you and with Lazarus, once a poor man may you have eternal rest."

So should I have spent more time preparing for the concert? Interesting question. Most things which we want to achieve, whether they are a full-blown project or programme of work or something relatively small like taking part I’m a concert, are bounded by constraints - time, money, availability of others, competing demands. So the way we cope as human beings may be by denying, procrastinating, planning, rationalising, identifying the aspects which need work, sourcing or learning the necessary skills and support or indeed all of the above. And by a combination of these it will probably be all right on the night.

Note

For those who are interested, the latin, which we sang for the In Paradisum goes like this:

”In paradisum deducant te Angeli; in tuo adventu suscipiant te martyres, et perducant te in civitatem sanctam Jerusalem. Chorus angelorum te suscipiat, et cum Lazaro quondam paupere æternam habeas requiem.”

Trianon Music Group’s website is at www.tmg.org.uk

For more information about Snape Maltings visit https://snapemaltings.co.uk/

Izzy Ixer
Blue Pebble Coaching Ltd

Making decisions – should we rely on facts or on our intuition?

Suffolk sunset

Suffolk sunset

We live in the information age.  Facts and figures are available to us at the drop of a hat.  Fitbits and other devices monitor our wellbeing, our heartbeat, our level of activity and the calories we eat.  Most of us know how much we weigh, what our Body Mass Index (BMI) is and whether our cholesterol is low or high.  We may have a pretty good idea about our blood pressure too – high or low?  Most of us know.  We are bombarded with information about keeping fit, eating the right food, drinking the right things and the right amount, exercising correctly for our age and managing our stress and anxiety. 

In this age of online information we may feel the need to validate every decision we take – which diet will work for us?  Are we exercising enough?  Or are we over-doing the exercise and injuring ourselves?  Should we be looking for another job?  What’s the best time to move house?  What colour should I paint the hall?  We look to the outside world for a view, a prompt, a trend, an affirmation that we are doing the right thing and making the right decision. 

As a coach I spend time with people and help them find answers to their problems.  I listen to them and ask them questions.  I encourage them to reflect on where they are, the challenges they face, what their goals are and how they might move closer to achieving these goals.  I don’t provide the answers.  That’s not my role.  My role is to help each of my coachees to unearth information and to use the decision-making powers they already have.  I prompt them to identify gaps in their knowledge and help them to find ways of filling those gaps so that the decisions they make are sound.  It’s a wonderful job and my clients feel empowered by the process.  And sometimes they find it challenging too.  Taking a hard look at experiences, which we have had, and considering when we felt good and successful aren’t easy.  However that’s where the learning lies.

I was recently looking for some inspirational quotes for the New Year.  Alongside my coaching I teach yoga and it’s sometimes useful to share some insights with my groups and my one-to-one yoga and coaching clients.  So I had a look and came across a wide-ranging selection from authors, entrepreneurs and public speakers.  And I also came across one from Eileen Caddy, one of the founders of the Findhorn Foundation. 

The Findhorn community was established in the 1962 and generated great interest in the 1970s and 1980s as people started to tune into the Findhorn philosophy of listening to their inner voice and living in an eco-friendly community.  One of the founder members of the community was Eileen Caddy and I came across this quote from her:

"Never at any time close your heart and mind.  Never be afraid of the new, of the strange, of the unconventional.  Be ready and prepared to listen to the intuition, to inspiration which may reveal something so completely new to you that it may not even have form or substance, and you may have to clothe it in words.  Intellectual pride can be a handicap along this spiritual path and can be a real stumbling block to the truth.  It is not the intellect you need; it is inspiration and intuition.  The intellect comes from without, whereas inspiration and intuition come from within and cannot be influenced by anything without.  Let your learning come from within; draw from all that you have within you.  You will be amazed at what you contain.”

Eileen drew a comparison between that which is external to us and which we can study, reflect on and absorb and she contrasts it with what our intuition tells us.  By tuning into ourselves and taking time to reflect on what we know, we can form a view of what is right for us.  We can absorb facts, figures, information and opinion and then make our own decisions.

So drawing on our inner knowledge means that we are not swayed by trends and fads – though we may be aware of them.  Trusting our intuition and backing it up with a few well-curated facts and figures can be a good move.  Recognising that not everything can be planned in minute detail and that some things will come upon us unexpectedly is worth recognising.  Cutting ourselves a bit of slack to do something spontaneous and out of character is sometimes a healthy option.  And having the courage to stand by the decisions we make is important.  A decision can only be made at the time we make it.  Perhaps it’s better to make a decision and move forward than to sit in limbo?

For more information about the Findhorn Foundation go to https://www.findhorn.org/inspiration/ where they have a quote for the day.

Izzy Ixer,  Blue Pebble Coaching Ltd

 

Invest in yourself – don’t wait for your boss to do it!

The Letter - Judith Holmes Drewry

The Letter - Judith Holmes Drewry

Once the domain of the CEO or senior manager, I am seeing people at all levels in small, medium and large organisations coming to me for coaching and paying for it themselves.  Why?  Because they recognise that to survive at work they need to invest in themselves!  So what’s going on?

Today’s workplace is fluid.  One day you are a highly valued employee, the next you are fighting to keep your job.  Change is everywhere and we need to continue to refresh our skills and bring new approaches to the work we do – we need to add value, generate new business, innovate and keep the organisation we work for profitable and valued. 

There was a time when an employee may have expected to receive training, professional development and opportunities for growth from their employer, but in today’s competitive workplace there isn’t always the time or the money to support these ambitions.  There are a number of reasons for this:

  • A small business may be fighting to survive – investing in their employees at present may be a step too far
  • Uncertainty about the future may be making some businesses reluctant to invest in their people
  • A small business may feel that investment in skills development simply isn’t a priority
  • A large organisation facing reduced profits or funding shortages may not be able to justify investing in developing their people

So it may be time to take the matter into your own hands.  And taking time to step outside the workplace to consider your current position, your own development needs and how they may be met could be a smart move.  Here are a few examples of where coaching and mentoring can help with your own development:

  • There has been a change of direction in the leadership of your organisation, which leaves you wondering how you can make an impact and add value
  • You are trying to survive in a shrinking organisation where colleagues have less time available to support each other
  • You are looking for a role in a different industry or with a different employer and need some help in preparing for this
  • You are in a new role and you feel that support from someone outside your organisation would benefit you and improve your performance
  • You are facing redundancy and need help to work out your next steps so that you can achieve financial stability in the short term and plan for the longer term
  • You have work related problems and don’t know how to manage them
  • It may be time to look at your own wellbeing and what you want from life

Having your own coach means you have access to someone who will help you to recognise and build on your own skills and also identify those skills which need developing.  A good coach will listen, ask questions, challenge you and give you time to reflect, draw you own conclusions, set your own goals and help you to achieve them.  Making decisions and facing challenges can be hard and sometimes lonely.  And sometimes dissatisfaction in a role may be because the cultural fit of the place where you work is no longer right - their values and aspirations may not be the same as yours. 

Spending time talking through your options with someone who has no connection with your home or work life can be hugely beneficial and give you time to think and plan how to make those important next steps.

If you’d like more information about how coaching can enable you to take control of your own personal development, then get in touch and let’s talk about how we can help.

Izzy Ixer, Director and Principal Consultant, Blue Pebble Coaching

 

 

 

90 year old talks about resilience

Disused building at Orford Ness, Suffolk - but it's still standing

Disused building at Orford Ness, Suffolk - but it's still standing

By the time most of you read this, the person I was talking with this morning will be 90 years old.  I’ll call her Ann.  Over a cup of tea I asked her a question:

“Why do you think some people are more resilient than others at managing life’s challenges?”

Ann’s answer was very interesting and I’ve captured her responses here:

Understanding and building resilience starts very early in life

 When you are young you hear conversations around you, almost without realising what you are hearing.  You see the way people behave and the way they react to situations.  Friends and relatives around you discuss life issues, the effect they have on people and the way some people manage to get through these issues and overcome adversity.  The culture you find yourself in is a powerful influence and helps you to realise what is possible and achievable in life and how your own resources form a key part of your success.

One of the great influences Ann is talking about is what in today’s language we would call role models.  These are people in your life who you look up to and see as the kind of person you would like to be.  We cam probably all recall someone from our childhood who we remember being influenced by in a positive way and thinking that we would like to be like them when we grow up.     

Observe and take time to reflect on what you see

Ann talked about observing the behaviours you see and “keeping your mouth shut”, which I interpret as taking time to reflect quietly on what you have heard and seen rather than broadcasting it immediately.  The way people tackle life is a great source of learning and this learning forms the bedrock of how we develop over the years.  We start to form a view of whether or not we agree with the way the person went about managing their personal challenges.  And our view may change over time as our own experience of life broadens.

Finding role models is not just for childhood and teenage years though – it can continue throughout your life.  Observing people who you consider to be successful and learning how they got where they are, what survival skills they have and how they sharpen these skills depending on the role they are in is a great way of reflecting on your own strengths and weaknesses.  What is it about them that enabled them to secure that role?  And what can you learn from them?

Absorb your experiences – good and bad

I find Ann’s word “absorb” interesting.  And I think it’s at the heart of our journey towards building resilience.  Good and bad experiences will happen.  We will be caught out one day if we haven’t prepared properly.  We may receive unexpected congratulations and thanks for a job well done.  We are likely to find ourselves “no longer required” in a role, which we’ve given our heart and soul to creating.  An exciting new job or promotion is likely to come our way at some stage in our work life.  The organisation we work for will change into something different with new processes to adapt to or a re-structured team to work with.  These things will happen. 

So it’s a useful strategy to try and accept all experiences equally and to learn from them.  When things are not so good, could we have done something differently and influenced the outcome?  When things went well, how did it happen?  What did we do to prepare ourselves, advertise ourselves, skill ourselves up or influence others?  Take time to accept the situation, absorb the experience, take the learning and be prepared for your next challenge.

Conclusion

Looking at Ann’s 3 observations about resilience, there seems to be one underlying thread.  The words she uses: observe, reflect and absorb.  These have something in common – they are all aspects of the art of disciplining the mind.  Developing the ability to manage the activity of the mind, to speed it up, slow it down, focus it and rest it is a core skill set.  We hear about Mindfulness, meditation, Yoga and other techniques for quietening and mastering the mind.  And there is plenty of research out there on the impact of early influences on the development of resilience in children as well as useful resources to help us learn how to develop our resilience as we grow older too.  And one thing is certain – resilience and adaptability are key skills for today’s world of work.

I enjoyed my cup of tea with Ann and I thanked her for sharing her insights with me.  Inspired by what she said, I have found some further reading sources, which I hope will help you as you look for ways to understand and build your own personal resilience.

The Science of Resilience

Why some children can thrive despite adversity

https://www.gse.harvard.edu/news/uk/15/03/science-resilience

Harvard Business review: 5 ways to Boost your Resilience at Work by Rich Fernandez, June 27 2016

https://wisdomlabs.com/5-ways-to-boost-your-resilience-at-work/

Izzy Ixer, Blue Pebble Coaching

 

Be a tourist in your own workplace!

As you prepare for "back to school" week and the return to work, it can be difficult to adjust to the routine of the working week after a Summer break.  And you may not be looking forward to the daily timetable and diary commitments.

So perhaps it's worth reflecting for a moment on what made your Summer break so exciting, relaxing, refreshing?  How much of the value you gained was about where you went and how much of it was about your approach, your attitude and your state of mind while you were there?

Typically as a tourist, we might experience a sense of excitement when we visit somewhere different.  We may find we are more receptive to doing something new and keen to discover something different.  Perhaps we're more open-minded as we try new ways of traveling, navigating new locations, learning about a new country or a part of the country in which we live.  In a new environment we need to think differently and be more observant as we navigate different routes and find new places.

Think of the way you felt when you tried something different to eat or drank a pint of the local beer!  Remember how it felt to look around at the scenery, a sunset or a sea view.  Recall how clear and uncluttered your mind felt at that moment.

So why not go back to work with the mindset of the tourist?  Try setting aside your habitual responses to situations and start listening carefully to others instead of pre-judging what they are likely to say.  Perhaps you can take a look with fresh eyes at the place where you work and notice some of the interesting features of it, which you would normally take for granted. Try a different way of getting to work is this is possible - walk part of the route or cycle to work.  If you are a hot-desker, try sitting somewhere different and if you have a regular desk, maybe think about swapping with someone if you can.  Take something different to work for your lunch or find somewhere new to get your sandwich.

Breaking our habitual responses and making small changes can be refreshing and keeping fresh and creative may be easier than you think.  As I was finishing writing this blog I came across an interesting article about creativity from Oishii Creative, who are based in Los Angeles.  They talk about breaking habits and becoming receptive to different approaches and new ideas.  They say that this is part of their philosophy for maintaining their creative mindset - you can read their article here:

http://www.oishiicreative.com/get-lost-how-thinking-like-a-tourist-can-reset-your-creativity/

So if you are going back to school or work, try thinking like a tourist, keeping an uncluttered mind and opening yourself up to new experiences as they arise!

Izzy Ixer
Director and Principal Consultant
Blue Pebble Coaching

28 August 2016